I've Been Tagged. Part One

What idiot asks someone "who are you going to tag?"? Duh? Who do you think they're going to tag? Yeah, the idiot who asked. Actually I don't really know what tagging is, but I've gleaned that we are doing 6 things people don't know about you. Something like that. I have been putting this off because everything about me is embarrassing. Do I want to endure the silent look of pity from all of you as you murmur, "oh that poor retarded girl. She doesn't know any better."? Most of my "things you don't know", my family knows, but I guess it's time to tell others.

1. My MOST embarrassing thing. When I was in High School, my friend Kathy and I met this girl who said she was a "soccer cheerleader". Basically they wore matching sweats and jumped up and down and ra ra'd them. The girl who started it was graduating so my friend Kathy, who was super brave in a way I wasn't, I was daring in many ways, but not socially said we should take over. We decided we needed to do something super big for our senior year and since we couldn't be cheerleaders, we'd just self appoint. Now this sounds pathetic, but it really wasn't, we weren't sad fat girls with no chance, we were just girls who decided if we weren't real cheerleaders, we'd make it happen. We just wanted an avenue to do something really fun and get away with a bunch of crap, and believe me we did. First, in order to get away with our devious plans, we needed a simple, gullible teacher to be our "advisor". We chose the cooking teacher, a super sweet grandma type (she was probably 40). She gladly accepted. We were in business. We decided we needed toadies to boss around. So we held "tryouts". First, we made up posters and did NOT get approval as required, we just put them up. No one said anything. Then, everyday we went down and made announcements with the rest of student government. You are supposed to get approval and have them do it. We didn't, we just went to the mike and did our thing. No one said anything, no one dared, it was too weird for them, no one knew what to think. Then we held "tryouts" where Kathy and I sat at a big table and acted as both judge and jury to 50 pathetic cheerleader hopefuls. We decided we BOTH wanted toadies and we BOTH wanted to be in charge, so we decided we needed a JV and Varsity squad. We picked our teams and "announced" them during morning announcements. Then we decided we weren't going to wear crappy sweats, we wanted real uniforms. We didn't have any money so we decided our toadies were going to fund the uniforms for us. We found a professional uniform company and contracted with them to make our uniforms. They were great, as good as real cheerleaders. Our toadies had no idea the amount we charged them included our fee for our uniforms. Now we needed t-shirts for game day. We collected money from everyone, amidst grumbling (so what -you want to be a cheerleader? shut the hell up and pony up the dough). Unfortunately we didn't have enough money to professionally have the "iron on" work done so we did it ourselves. Again unfortunately we ran out of letters so some of the girls go shirts with letters cut from left over letters. "Qoccer Qheerleader" something like that. We overheard the toadies talking and saying "I think they just did these themselves.." "Ya, I do too!" we laughed. so what? What were they gonna do? Then the fun started. We had "soccer cheer duties" constantly. We would hand write an "excuse Lisa and Kathy from....they had soccer...yada yada" and have our "advisor" to sign. We would leave a 4 inch gap between the note and her signature. As soon as she signed it, we would fill it the space with many dates and times, then go to the mall, again. We missed a ton of school but everything was excused. We decided to hold a bake sales for money (kathy and I needed money). So I go donuts from Reams, where I worked and had a big bake sale once a month and made a killing (did we get approval as required - no, and no one dared tell us to stop). I'm trying to remember if we actually cheered...probably...but I dont recall. I just mostly remember being able to use our cheerleading venture as a front for evil and much fun. We made them take our pictures for the yearbook and everything. In spite of the fact that no one knew what to think of us and probably thought we were freaks, it was the funnest thing I've ever done and I'll never regret it. I'd give anything to be that brash and brave again. We became friends with our toadies and it was a really fun time.

Since that was too long I'll do my 6 in daily posts.