Turning into a witch

Ok, so am I turning into a witch or am I getting old? I keep getting these witchy prickly hairs on my chin. What the hell is that about? I used to have one in a mole, ok, big deal, now every day I have to check for these cactus quills sticking out of my chin! Some are white and some are dark. Neither is good, black can be seen by anyone and white means old lady (or old man!). Do I dare ask for a chin wax? How humiliating! What if I start getting hairs coming out of my ears and nose like an old man? Then what? Will I have to buy one of those nose hair buzzers? What's next? Warts on my nose? Cackling laughter (wait I think I already have that)? Well I better go, some nice fat children are at my door and I haven't had lunch.